how to get through the worst party ever

So there was this party.

As I expected, the first inhale was met by a fit of coughing. Amateur. The second, laughter. I knew it was completely irrational and I was dying to stop. When I finally regained control she started the water strider story, a story that is cracks me up on a normal day. I lost it once again and had to get out of there to try to regain some sort of control. It could not happen in that room. That room was really funny.

I stopped at the end of the stairs observing the crowd. "Where are all the girls?" "I know, there is a sausage party going on out there." I was frozen to the banister watching a blur of beer drinking idiots. A contest. The winner is the one who can drink 9 beers in one hour without puking the entire night. Even I knew that when such a rule is enforced, the game just cannot be a good idea and it did it fact ruin several good men that night. Men who could have been dancing to the same 5 songs played over and over again and mingling with the 18 year olds and grabbing asses with the rest of them. Instead they chose the game which left all of the losers puking in the backyard, the front yard, the bathroom sink, the couch, the toilet. I do not know who won, probably the guy sleeping on the couch throughout the entire party. He sure did look like a winner.

She really did almost get in a fight with the guy who looked at my ass and "called" me to his lap. I really was surprised that more Eco/Evo people were in attendance and realized this is the party they were anticipating and it wouldn't have to have been like that if they all would have just showed up. I really did serve my old student a really bad, too-strong drink and he might have even believed for a minute that I really was there to be the bartender. We really were the last people at the party even though we hated it the most. We really were the oldest people there and we reminded me of the 80s people who used to go to college parties and look really 80s and get really excited when an 80s song came on. He really did ask the stupid question, "where did you learn your moves" and I really did tell him it was from hip hop class. Who asks that anyway? He really did think I was dating his TA but wanted me upstairs with him despite that fact, or maybe because he would find such a thing amusing. I really did think he was going to be a really cool person and was surprised to find that he sucked. I really did wake up the next morning in the same clothes I went to the party in, with no retainers in my mouth and red eyes. I really do think it was the worst party ever but in a good, amusing, fun way and I am glad I did not miss it.

I really do participate in other activities besides party going. I swear.