the list

Last night in bed the clock's tick sounded much louder than usual and I could hear the neighbors talking but I couldn't make out the words so it finished up just being more noise. I did not know why I was still awake. From what I can tell, the neighbors never sleep. I was thinking about what I would put on my list of things to do before I die if I only had a few months to live. I couldn't come up with a single one. I would have said travel all around to see people I love but I cannot afford that now and I couldn't afford it if I was dying either. Maybe get another job and pay off some debt? Who would have to do that? I would also not tell anyone but I would call them and say nice things and I wouldn't leave voice recordings because I really hate my voice. At first I thought I would be sad I was dying unloved but then I figured it would be better than dying while in a loveless relationship. That would be much more depressing and I also do not have kids so I wouldn't have to leave them behind either. I guess that makes me a good candidate but life is never fair like that.