recollections

I wonder if I will forever think of him when I see the black splotch in the upper right hand corner of movie theater movies appear just prior to a reel change. I wonder if every time I laugh that really hard laugh where your face feels like it is going places it has never been before and your entire body sort of hurts I will think about that time we were in my room on lloyd when we were on the floor lifting dumbbells and we laughed that hard for what seemed like forever and I was in so much pain from laughing I wanted to start crying and how that laughing made my head ache and feel like it was going to burst. Then that thought always makes me think of just her in general and how she was such a fun friend and then I will wonder what she is up to these days and if I will ever know. I wonder if every time I hear the word thyroid I will think of my best friend from high school even though we were not even great friends when she told me about her thyroid condition. I think I will try to look her up next time I am back in the b.c. I wonder if every time I take my seat on an airplane I will think about that time I was in the row with no window with the guy that had the "no window seat" and how he told me the story about when he talked to the airline lady he said he had never flown so it was really important for him to sit by the window. He was a funny and nice guy so I am sure she did not do it on purpose. I wonder if I will always think of her in third grade every time I have to spell dessert or desert because she explained to the teacher the way she remembers how to keep them straight.I wonder if every time I see fake breasts I will think of a dear friend I had some years ago who was the first person I knew who had them. I wonder if she is still in Colorado now and if I will ever see her again. Not likely. I wonder if every time I eat grapes while I watch a movie I will think of the time he and I ate grapes while we watched Gladiator and when we watched the special features the directors said, "I did not want this to be the sort of movie you watch on your couch while eating grapes." I wonder if every time I eat blast o butter I will get nostalgic and think of the my so-called life marathons the days before they existed on dvd and how we kept missing the last few minutes of every episode and getting upset because that is when all of the good stuff happens. Especially in the buffalo tom episode where jordan holds angela's hand in the hall, forcing her to miss yet another geometry review.