you're a MONSTER!

said the mom, "oh... I've heard a LOT about you."

I just smiled because I really did not want to know.

Later (against my better judgement) I asked him what she's heard.

In his very dramatic tone, "I was just sitting in tutorial and all of a sudden this little piglet FLEW by my head!"

He also informed her I taught him that he is adopted and there is no god. 

She must LOVE me and he was right when he said  he could make me laugh any time he felt like it. Why do THEY get all of that power?