times they are a changing back

When we talked over pasta and pizza today she really did not know the country is this bad. Well, she knew it but couldn't really see it any where. I think it is kind of hard to imagine when you live in california and most of the people you associate with are from the university. It is just different. I retold the story I heard on the radio this morning about a group of muslims, praying together in an airport who were later investigated after boarding. But that is not all we talked about. I said he got licks at school and his teachers never taught him that even though "ain't" is in the dictionary it is not okay to use and that when you use a double negative you are not saying what you mean and for some reason he thinks it is okay to be racist and sexist and homophobic.

She was surprised.

I wasn't that surprised.

I like that after a while he said, "stop messing with my head, you're making me think." because if we rocked his world just a little bit I'll take it. She'll take it too. I preach tolerance but I'm not that tolerant either but at least now we know and maybe we can try harder because when some people say "ain't" it is because it sounds normal where they are and who cares about rules like that anyway?

She thought he was a really great kid and when he said I should come for christmas he was really being sincere.

I thought so too.

I loved having him here and dragging him to the museum of tolerance and lecturing him about drinking and smoking and fighting and smarting off to his teachers and thinking homosexuality is wrong. He was a great sport about it and kept us laughing and I realize that what we do have in common is we both want to fit in and change into our new clothes immediately. Sometimes he never said thank you but I know he was grateful. Sometimes he refused to smile but I know he was happy. Sometimes he refused to talk but other times he would let his guard down and not stop. I worried we would have nothing to talk about and couldn't relate. With the help of cards and chess and checkers and beaches and climbing and crazy californians and scary movies and opinions, we related just fine. I am just sad our time passed so quickly.

He probably doesn't know how important it was to have him sitting across from me drinking his dr. pepper and discussing the point of the movie we had to rewatch twice. He probably doesn't know that what just happened here was really amazing and worth every missed day of work and every dollar spent.

I said it was only the fifth time I have seen him ever and when I said the first two times he was just a baby he interrupted and said... "but the next time you came you got after me for double dipping at popeyes!" I liked that. That he remembers things about me even though it probably wasn't one of my more proud moments and even though he might not still remember in five more years because a lot can happen in five years... but that did not stop me for getting after him again for letting the ketchup bottle touch his hamburger at mel's dinner in hollywood. I cannot help that I take ketchup so seriously and obviously, don't double dip. We just laughed a lot without needing to talk about how touching those moments really were.

Now I know he is more playful since he's been out and now I know that he doesn't like to take off his boots and that he can't wear frayed jeans to school so he saves them for Friday and Saturday nights when he is running around and now I know what his mom does and that his sister likes pink.

And when I said there is no time for words I really meant it because when I am writing here, I am not writing there and there is much more important right now and here is just too easy because it is not going to matter.

"My friend done got pulled over for makin' a california stop an' now I know what that means."