the clouds have formed

When I agreed to participate I did not know what I know now and now I know that obviously I am not the right person for this. He said I was a bitch... that was a good sign... but then they said without my sweater I looked cool... that was a bad sign. Six dismissals later I was anxiously awaiting noon when this would all be over. I knew those last five minutes were critical and no you cannot leave five minutes early and no your break is not going to be more than 10 minutes and even though I said I would kick them out five minutes before noon I really did not want to go there and the closer it got the more likely it became that they were going to mess up and that room was completely wrong for this day. This day in particular. When they finally got to leave they just stood outside the door... much like Lily does when she thinks she wants to escape and go kill birds but ten steps later she does not know what to do with herself in that big scary world with that big scary sky. And then I had to stand between two boys to keep them from fighting each other and then follow them to the lot to make sure everyone stayed forgiven. Surely I handled that all wrong too.