on girls, part two

Have I mentioned how excruciatingly painful it is raising girls?

I couldn't talk this time. He did most of the talking. Luckily he was mostly right this time. She just sat there looking so vulnerable and sad and tiny. I knew if I talked I might cry. I knew the reason she couldn't talk is because she might cry. She just needs some time to process this. How did she get to such a lonely, dark place? How does she knowingly hurt herself?

The past two years have been a mess. So much stress and drama.

The weight started dropping quickly about a year ago. I think around then...

The excuses rolled in. Too tired to eat. Too pissed off to eat. Not hungry. Didn't like the food. Sleeping at meal time. It worked for a while. I knew it shouldn't have worked. I knew she was capable and I shouldn't have listened to every one else. When it was finally addressed, professionally, they said she is at a normal, healthy weight.

You are at low normal, they said. Just maintain your weight, they said.

But you shouldn't have to starve yourself to get there. 

It is not normal for a growing adolescent to drop 15 lbs in a short amount of time. 

It is not normal to not eat, especially for someone so active.

She has too big of an ego to do this to her body, they said.

I knew she could. I knew her degree of stubbornness. I knew something is deeply wrong inside.

When counseling began, (actually at the first mention of counseling) so did the eating. She seemed to suddenly eat normally again. Snacking often, eating at meal time. The weight, however, improved only marginally.

Not enough.

Seems she simply became sneakier. We see she is eating. We should be happy.

Now she fills her stomach and subsequently empties it. This is not good. Not good.